Monday, Apr. 11, 2005

Red Roses

My lucky boyfriend had off work on Friday at the #1's because his uncle wanted to fill in so that he had more spending money to play cards with his friends at his cabin. Adam did go into work for two hours at the Eagle's. The other bartender is dating a guy who just went to jail and wanted to visit him during that time. Nice, huh?

When my shift was over, Adam picked me up from work and we went to the Pet Store to look for a new kitten. They had a few that were orangish / brownish / cream colored and one small black one. We decided on the black kitten because the others looked too much like Mr. Skins. When I asked the girl working at the pet store whether the kitten was a boy or a girl, she couldn't determine it. I'm calling the veterinarian to see about getting Mr. Skins neutered.

Our new little friend (and that's what we're calling him for now; Little Friend because we don't have a name for him yet) is so very small with huge green eyes and very sharp, little claws. Little Friend looks so young. He/She can't be any more than a month old. He has the cutest, little face. His left ear looks as though another cat was biting it because it's a little tattered. You can see where some of the fur was bitten off and skin is showing through. I hope it heals. She/He might be the runt of the litter. Although I thought Mr. Skins was the runt he looks so big compared to Little Friend.

Mr. Skins and Little Friend are really funny to watch when they're around each other. Mr. Skins tries to play and attack him and Little Friend plays back and tries to attack Mr. Skins. It's certain that Skins is still a bit leary of his new pal though. He just sits there looking at him sometimes as if to say,"Who the hell do you think you are; coming into MY house, eating MY food, using MY litter box..." When I tried to pick Skins up and put him on our bed he jumped right back down. He always used to like sleeping on our bed. His appetite seems to have diminished some too. Adam and I both have tried feeding him ham or turkey from our sandwiches but he wouldn't take it. I can't wait until both cats are used to one another.

Quite a few people showed up to play cards on Friday night at Adam's friend's house. Usually when we go over, there are around 7-10 people. This time, there was about 15. They had to set up a small card table that sat four people, then the rest were at the big table. Of course I didn't play. Adam was out early in the game, but Adam's friend Sam, who went along with us, took third place. Everyone drank, ate and had a great time.

The best part about the weekends is sleeping in late, then getting up and having absolutly nothing to do. It's like the world is at your feet on days like that. I took my time getting ready to hang out with Liz. When I got to her house I realized that I could have taken even more time because we waited over an hour for Liz M. to get there.

Although I didn't find one thing at the mall that I felt was worth buying, I had fun hanging out with Liz and Liz M. I was actually looking for a spring jacket but had no luck finding one. I really doubt that I'll be able to find one this season. This was the first time in ages that I walked out of my mall without purchasing something. Actually, I'm kind of glad that nothing caught my eye. I should really be saving my money for more important things.

The other night Liz and I were talking about concerts that we'd like to go to this summer. We looked online but didn't find anyone we'd like to see at the time so we said we'd keep looking. While we were at the mall, Liz mentioned that she found a good one. My friends and I have decided to get tickets for The Anger Management Tour when they go on sale. The tour is coming to Philadelphia in August. I've already talked it over with Megan and she is coming with us. That way, we can stay the night at her house, go to the bars Friday night, shop in the city Saturday during the day, then go to the concert at night. It's been a few years since I've been to a concert. It will be perfect and so fun. I'm really looking forward to it.

Mid Sunday morning Adam and I were both awake which is highly unusual for us. Lately, I've been feeling so down in the dumps about myself. I just feel ugly. When I feel this way, it's so easy to tell myself that Adam feels the same way about me. I know deep down that it isn't true, but I tell myself over and over in my head that it is and I start to believe it. We talked about it until I felt better.

What he doesn't know is that the root of the problem is that he has all these magazines with naked girls in them. He keeps them hidden in the back of the closet. I'm unsure if he knows that I've seen them. Sometimes at night when I am sleeping, he gets them out. Why does he keep them hidden? That's shady. Is it because he knows it upsets me or doesn't want to upset me? If he thinks I'm so beautiful, then why does he need to look at those girls? I couldn't and probably won't ever tell him that they upset me though because I know that it's stupid to be angry over something so insignificant. All guys look at them. Then, I try to see the picture on the contrary. If I were to have the chance to look at a magazine with naked men in, sure I'd look. But I don't own any, none the less hide any. I really have some self esteem issues. I'm really trying to work on correcting them too. And I'm slowly starting to become more confident. Like I said though, slowly.

We got breakfast after we talked. I ate a breakfast sandwich, then was so emotionally exhausted that I went back to bed. When I woke a few hours later, I wondered where Adam was, then remembered that he was playing cards at the bar. I played Playstation while I awaited for his arrival home. He brought me roses when he came home. A dozen red roses because he said he loves me. It was sweet. They're sitting on top of my stereo at home. I love getting flowers and it's been awhile so I was tickled pink.

That night we rented movies and hung out. I thought about how every weekend is the same. We have basically the same routine every weekend and it's beginning to become monotonous. This weekend, I'm suggesting that we go away. I need to.

missdahling at 9:11 pm