Wednesday, Apr. 06, 2005
Stuck
Slowly, but surely, my day is starting to get better. I woke up in the most wretched mood this morning. I woke up to the sun in my eyes coming through the blinds in Adam and I's bedroom. It was / is a beautiful day outside and I didn't even get to enjoy any of it because I slept in so late that I would have to go straight to work by the time I got ready.
When I managed to get up and out of bed, I sleepily ran my fingers through my hair on the way down the hall to the bathroom. A good sized clump of my hair fell out and I freaked. "Why is my hair falling out?" I asked noone inparticular. I touched my fingers to my hair again and when I looked down at my hand, I was holding a few more strands. I started to cry as I threw the hair into the garbage can. By this time, Adam came into the bathroom to see what was wrong. "Look! I exclaimed, my hair...." He just stared at it in disbelief.
It probably wasn't a big deal. I still have a full head of hair, but nothing like that has ever happened to me before. Sure, I have had strands fall out like everyone else, but never this much. It was weird.
Still upset over my hair, I picked up my toothbrush and looked at myself in the mirror. I hated what I saw. My makeup was smeared, and my hair was dishevelled. I looked so shabby. I wondered to myself why I had to look that way. I needed to get to work and there was no way I was going looking like that. Obscenities were coming out of my mouth left and right this morning when I was getting ready. I heard Adam muttering about me under his breath from the bedroom where he was getting ready for work himself. I said,"Leave me the hell alone and shut the fuck up!" I said things of that nature a few times before he left. Harsh, I know. I feel so bad for hollering at him.
So picture me. Irrational, emotional, just got out of bed, pissy, scummy looking - you get the picture. I still needed to try to do something to make my hair look presentable so I went into the room next to our bedroom that has my vanity and clothing in it. I walked in, slammed the door behind me and sat down at my vanity. Adam called my name a few times asking for me to let him in, but I said no; I didn't want to see him at that moment. This is ridiculous, but I in my head, I was actually blaming Adam for my rough morning. If he wouldn't have suggested we have sex in the shower last night (which was wonderful by the way), my hair wouldn't look like this today, is what I was thinking (my hair looks bad if I don't blow dry it right after it being wet). Therefore, I wouldn't be upset about my hair, therefore, my morning would have been fine. I know, I said it was ridiculous for thinking that way! What's my problem!?!
My hair still looked bad when I was done, but it was a slight improvement. I was still in a bad mood though. Just as I am about finished getting ready, Adam yells,"I'm leaving for work! You're not going to have time to drive me there. You'll be late." At this point, I broke down crying. I don't know why. However, I cried even more when I realized that I was locked in the room. The door doesn't have a doorknob to turn which is why we have never closed it before today. I wasn't thinking about the fact that I might not be able to open it from the inside. I just thought that if we closed it from the outside, we wouldn't be able to get in. I pushed, pulled, even tried prying it open...nothing worked.
So many thoughts were going through my head while stuck inside the room. I was thinking,"Oh my god, I can't wait in here until Adam gets home!! That's not until 3:30am!" I thought about calling someone for help, but remembered my cell phone was in the other room. "What about work?" "What will I do in here all day? I'm going to be so bored." After about fifteen minutes, Suddenly, I remembered something very important. I forgot that the closet in the room I was trapped inside also connects to our bedroom. I opened the closet door, crawled through the clothes and shoes and found myself standing in my bedroom. I was no longer stuck in the other room, but I did feel like an idiot for not thinking of that idea sooner.
Can you tell that I'm PMS'ing?
My work shift is halfway over. I'm just hoping that the second half goes by as quickly as the first.