Wednesday, Apr. 13, 2005

Tired of Fighting

After work last night, I picked Adam up at his friend, Jeff's house. We hung out there for awhile. Jeff just remodeled his basement and it looks so nice compared to how it looked before. When he rebuilt the bar, he put it in a different spot so that it would be more spacious. There is a big screen tv down there along with a smaller, 19 in. television that is built into the wall. The surround sound is great. It's like being in a sports bar. Jeff bought two, new, very comfortable recliners too. He said that he wants to fix it up even more. You could tell that he has already spent a lot of time and money on the project.

A love seat was given to us last night by Jeff. He has new furniture and has no use for it anymore. Now, we have a love seat, a recliner, a chair with a high back which is similiar to a recliner, but doesn't rock or recline, and another chair that swivels. Also, we have two end tables and two mirrors to hang on the wall. The guy who gave us the end tables also has a coffee table to match, but wants to get new glass put in it before he gives it to us. This weekend I'm hoping to get regular sized sofa, then we'll be able to actually start setting up our livingroom. I doubt that we'll use it much though until we get a tv to put in that room. The house is slowly coming together.

Afer we left Jeff's, we went to the Eagle's for a drink, then home. All Adam and I did last night was argue about petty bullshit. It was so petty that I can't even remember what we fought about. I suppose I was just nagging on him for no reason at all because he told me that in his opinion, he causes only 5-10% of our fights. The other percentage is started by me. Normally, I would have been upset, especially when he told me to stop acting like a bitch. But last night was different ..... I didn't care. I thought,"Oh, whatever." Maybe I didn't care because I knew that I had started it all, or maybe I didn't care because I'm tired of it all and just did not feel like dealing with it. He said to me,"We're a great couple, we have our own place, but we fight like we're 13!"

It seems like I've been more bored than usual lately. With what? I don't know. I'm indecisive as to whether I'm bored with Adam, the relationship in general, or with our routine. Maybe a combination of both?

At work last week, each employee filled out a sheet with a list of jobs that each one of us do each day. We were supposed to write down a percentage of how much time we thought we spent on each job per day. When I think about what percentage of boredness I am, it breaks up like this:

Bored with Adam : 10%
Bored with our relationship: 10%
Bored with our routine: 80%

Is a little variety too much to ask for? I hope those percentage are correct. It's hard for me to tell. I love Adam so much but I don't want to be one of those girls who stays with a guy for the sake of comfort. Sometimes once a couple gets too comfortable with one another and they start having problems, they stay with each other because they don't know any differently. Instead of breaking up, they stay together just for the fact that they've been together so long that the thought of breaking up scares them. I hope my relationship never comes down to that. So far it hasn't. I'm just tired of fighting.

Black Panther is what we named our new kitten because she is all black and looks like a little panther. For the past few days, I've been calling her that. Last night Adam suggested that we make that her official name. He made the comment that we always name our pets when we're fucked up. So what, at least they have original names.

The two cats are getting along a lot better. At first I think Mr. Skins resented us for bringing a new cat into his home. Whenever we would try to pet him, he would shy away. But last night, he actually sat with me on the bed just like he used to do. He even napped with Panther on the bed too. I'm happy to have my good, old Monsieur Skins back.

Before work this afternoon I paid my car insurance. I think all my bills are finally caught up to date. Granted, I still have a lot to pay, none are late. I'm finally getting one step ahead of them. It's about time too. Now I just have to keep at it. I'm such a procrastinator when it comes to that shit. I hate it.

Tomorrow is Thursday already. This week is going by fast.

missdahling at 8:50 pm