Thursday, Feb. 10, 2005

Sealed in a Jar For Later

A co-worker messsaged me over IM this afternoon asking if we were busy. He was taking a break from his studying. I thought that he was asking if we were busy because he had to come into work but I suppose he just needed someone to talk to.

He was telling me that sometimes he wished he didn't have a girlfriend. He met another girl who's caught his eye but yet, he isn't one to cheat. It's one of those 'what-if...' situations. Everyones had them at some point. You meet someone else but are tied to a significant other and think,'What if I didn't have a boyfriend/girlfriend?'

Often times I think about my past boyfriends and wonder where I'd be and who I'd be if I were with someone else or still single even. My life might be completly different if I'd taken another path. Think about it for a moment....

And then there are 'the ones who got away'. Mine was my ex Jason. He was my first true love. We dated for a year when I was in tenth grade and he was in 11th. It was a really bitter breakup. One that I'd rather not get into right now. I was certain that we would graduate high school, go to the same college and then get married. I don't know what happened to him. I haven't heard anything about him for a year and a half.

I always wonder about old friends, old enemies or just people I haven't heard anything of for a long while. The other week Liz and I were looking through old yearbooks. We were constantly pointing people out and saying things like,"Remember when he did so and so....what ever happened to him?" It's like these people just kind of vanish. Never to be seen again....

Adam said something about a kid named Matt about a week ago. For some reason the name made me think of a boy who I went to elementary school with who's name was Matt. It had been the first time in probably 12 years since I've thought of him. He used to wear straightlegged, acid washed jeans and Teenage Mutant Ninja turtle t-shirts to school. His mother would always pack him tuna fish for lunch. I know this because he commented on it one day way back when. Don't ask me how I remember that. I don't remember when he moved away...I don't remember the last time I saw him either. But I do remember him.

It's just strange to think about what people like Matt are doing now. The people who were once in our lives; significant or insignificant, who are now in another place....don't you sometimes wish that you could catch up with them just to see what they're up to? People drift apart over the years whether you were close friends with them or not. That kind of scares me. I guess the ones that matter most stay in your life. Then again, there are people who I am no longer close with but did make an impact.

Why is that I can never realize what great memories I'm making while I am making them. It isn't until afterwards that I know I'll most likely never have another moment like that in my whole life. Everyone knows what I mean .... those moments that are just too perfect for words. The moments that you wish you could seal in a glass jar and keep forever buried in a drawer to cheer you up when you're having a bad day. I wish I could recognize those sooner.

I'm nostalgic (more so than usual anyway) today, can you tell?

missdahling at 7:52 pm