Mar. 01, 2004
In a Funk
I haven't been myself lately. It just seems like I am upset 75% of the time. I don't know why either. I have nothing to be sad about.
On Friday night my eye hurt so fucking bad. By the time I got off work it was swollen and I could barely see out of it. It was especially sensitive to bright lights. Since Adam wanted to go out, I thought I'd be a good sport and go along. When we got to the Eagle's, I spent the whole time there crying; not really because of my eye, but because we had been at Vince's before that and he got pissed off at me. The reason being that he went to the bathroom before we left and as he was heading towards the restroom, I unconsciously said,"Ok, see ya." I felt bad because everyone started laughing and it embarrassed him. But like I said, I wasn't even thinking about what I was saying. Everyone's done that before.
The only good thing about Danley's was that I smoked in the car before we got there so I was very stoned. It was good weed. There were no fights and there was nowhere to sit either, so we ended up standing the entire time we were there. Adam started to get irritated because I kept complaining about my eye. I was probably putting a damper on his night, but I was really trying to have fun. My eye was in pain though so it was hard. I was tolerating Danley's until these hoes came in. They had been at Chuck's and were talking about being in wet t-shirt contests there. They started talking to Adam, or Adam started talking to them, I'm not sure. It doesn't matter who started the conversation; all that matters is that I hated the fact that he was talking to them. I basically said it was time to leave, and got up without saying a word.
Of course Adam asked why I walked out. And I told him that I didn't want to talk to those people, so instead of sitting there and making rude comments, I thought I'd just leave. This started a fight about me not tolerating people. Sorry, but everyone has people they encounter whom they like and also whom they dislike. Once again I started to cry. I cried all the way to Stefanie's. I didn't even want to be there...just being a good sport and going along with it. Chris was bartending and as soon as he saw me , he asked about my eye. It looked fucking disgusting. Luckily we only went there for one drink.
There was a discrepency about where we were going to sleep. At first we were going to get a hotel, but it was too early to check in and have it for the next night as well. We thought about going to the Rescue's but I just wanted to go home. The final decision was to sleep at his house.
Between smoking and drinking, I did manage to get fucked up. Yay ! ! ! The last thing I remember was Adam taking his contacts out after we got done having sex. The next thing I knew it was Saturday around noon.
Saturday night was so long. My eye was feeling much better, so I had a better night. Heather, Liz and I were going to drinkafter we got back from Stefanie's, so I got a bottle of Sky Vodka. We ended up not drinking it because neither one of us felt up to it. We ended up hanging out at Heather's watching some of her old home videos. They were hilarious.
Megan called me and asked if I'd get her beer. I went into Danley's and bought a six pack. There weren't too many people there which is odd for a Saturday night. Said hi to Adam's dad (when I mentioned to Adam that I had see his father he didn't seem too thrilled), then left.
Amanda smoked me up, god luv her. I didn't have to use Adam and I's weed. I was proud of myself.
I got to the Eagle's around 1:30 am....and left at 7:30 am. I couldn't believe the sun was up when we left. The time went by so quickly. It did not feel like 7 in the morning.
Luckily I had all of yesterday afternoon to sleep. I didn't do a damn thing until Sunday night when I went to Liz's. Even at her house I didn't do much. Just watched tv, sat around and talked. We're lazy, what can I say?
I went to the Eagle's around closing time. We hung out there, then went to the Rescue's. It was supposed to be an early night, but I got home at 4:30 or something like that.
I wasn't that tired when I woke up this morning either. My day started out okay and would have been great except that Adam and I got into an argument. Long story short is that he wanted to drive my car to work and then wanted me to get a ride to the Eagle's at 10 when I got off. I didn't really want to do that, so I said no at first. Then I decided not to be selfish so I said it would be okay. He's like,"Well, I'm already at your work bringing your car back, so whatever."
I spent my first couple of hours of work calling him and sending him text messages trying to make him not mad at me. I probably ended up annoying him. I hate when he is mad at me. I haven't talked to him since 4, and it is now almost quarter of nine. I don't know if he will call or not.
I suck. I totally suck. Someone needs to beat me over the head with a baseball bat.