Oct. 24, 2003
Jealousy
Well hello there diary. I am here, sitting at work, and I am high. Ben and I were talking on AIM about how we wanted to get high. hmmmm .... 'I have weed,' I thought to myself. I decided to share my thought with Ben, adding that if he came to my work, I would take my 15 minute break and we could go burn one. This was a good idea to my two of us.
Even though it was a good idea to Ben and I, other people didn't seem to think so. I got a phone call a couple minutes after Ben told me he was leaving. Adam calls and asks what I'm doing. So I tell him and then he replies by saying,"Well, have a fun time with Ben. This is the last time I want to talk to you again."
I was crushed.
When Ben got to my work, I told him right away what Adam had said. Ben was a little pissed that Adam would get upset about something as minor as this. Ben said that he would call Adam and talk to him for me.
Neither Ben, nor I could understand why Adam reacted the way he did. It really upsets me. I always seem to fuck this up in this relationship. Seriously, I am trying my hardest to make this work out and not to always piss him off. I am trying to be a more mature person than i have in the past. I love him.
Ben claims that I have nothing to worry about...he's laughed and was like,"oohh..Adam isn't gonna be pissed!" Then he kind of shook his head as if to say,"oh god..."
I hope Ben is right. Adam makes me so happy and I really don't know what I would do without him. God, I pray that he is not still upset.
Waiting for Ben's phone call is the worst. I'm so apprehensive. It could be the phone call that changes my whole life.