Oct. 24, 2003


Well hello there diary. I am here, sitting at work, and I am high. Ben and I were talking on AIM about how we wanted to get high. hmmmm .... 'I have weed,' I thought to myself. I decided to share my thought with Ben, adding that if he came to my work, I would take my 15 minute break and we could go burn one. This was a good idea to my two of us.

Even though it was a good idea to Ben and I, other people didn't seem to think so. I got a phone call a couple minutes after Ben told me he was leaving. Adam calls and asks what I'm doing. So I tell him and then he replies by saying,"Well, have a fun time with Ben. This is the last time I want to talk to you again."

I was crushed.

When Ben got to my work, I told him right away what Adam had said. Ben was a little pissed that Adam would get upset about something as minor as this. Ben said that he would call Adam and talk to him for me.

Neither Ben, nor I could understand why Adam reacted the way he did. It really upsets me. I always seem to fuck this up in this relationship. Seriously, I am trying my hardest to make this work out and not to always piss him off. I am trying to be a more mature person than i have in the past. I love him.

Ben claims that I have nothing to worry about...he's laughed and was like,"oohh..Adam isn't gonna be pissed!" Then he kind of shook his head as if to say,"oh god..."

I hope Ben is right. Adam makes me so happy and I really don't know what I would do without him. God, I pray that he is not still upset.

Waiting for Ben's phone call is the worst. I'm so apprehensive. It could be the phone call that changes my whole life.

missdahling at 8:02 p.m.