Thursday, Jul. 13, 2006
mo' money, mo' problems
"A good day ain't got no rain
a bad day is when I lie in bed and think of things that might have been."
I'm still pissed off about what happened yesterday, but not quite as bad. Since I had to drive Adam to work as soon as I got off work, that was the only time I talked to him today aside from two quick phone calls which were not even three minutes long combined.
Driving to his work, we did not talk, we argued the majority of the time. He paid all but one fine with the two hundred dollars I took out of my checking account. One fine was $103.00 and the other came out to about $70.00. There is one other fine, but it will get taken out of his next paycheck. I asked for my change back but he had spent it on gas money for his grandfather who allowed him to use his car today and food. Those were legitimate reasons to spend money on so I didn't really press that issue.
What I did press was the fact that he withdrew about $140.00 today from his checking account. I asked what he spent that money on and he would not answer me. He could have used that money to pay the fine instead of having it taken from his next check. It just doesn't make sense to me. He obviously didn't spend the $140 on anything useful or he wouldn't have needed to be so defensive when I asked what he used it for. I seriously hope that money is gone so that he doesn't have any cash at all this weekend or next week. I won't give him any either.
I have a feeling that he is gambling a lot more than he's telling me about which is most likely where the $140 went. I wouldn't have even found out that he gambled away the money I gave him for the electric bill if I wouldn't have asked. He even told me that too. He said,"You wouldn't have even known if I wouldn't have told you!" He must play me for a fool or something. I am not stupid.
He told me to stop being his financial advisor, but honestly, he needs one and that's exactly what I feel like. When I told him that he said he didn't care about our relationship anymore and he didn't need me. To that, I responded,"Good luck finding someone else. I am the only person who would put up with someone as financially challenged and irresponsible as you are." The horrible part is that I believe it. I sometimes wonder what I was thinking when I got seriously involved with him.
Another part of me thinks that I am being irrational about this. Is it wrong to be upset how he spends his money? It is his hard earned money and he should be able to spend it as he pleases, but it does affect me when he says he will pay bills and fines and doesn't. One weekend, I spent my money on extra, fun things for us to do because he allowed me to think that he had cash on him. As it turned out, I spent my money, he had none, and we had to scounge up quarters for gas money. That affects me.
I am open with him about what I spend my money on and he is just so shady about his money most of the time. Money has been an issue between us for the past year or so and I am beginning to think that it's tearing us apart. I love him, but can I really spend the rest of my life like this?