Friday, Sept. 30, 2005
Worried
I arrived at my parents' house yesterday evening after work. My mother had just gotten home from work and was busy, rushing around trying to get dinner together while she waited for my father to pull in the driveway. I walked in the front door, and went to the kitchen to greet her. One of the first things she told me was that my grandmother isn't doing so well. On Monday, one of the nurses from her assisted living home called my mother and asked her to go see her. Over the phone, the nurse told my mother about my grandmother's condition. Her breathing was short, she wasn't eating, she was sleeping an awful lot, etc., etc., etc... Immediately, my mother drove to my grandmother's, hoping for the best.
My grandmother was admitted to the hospital that Monday and has been there ever since. They gave her a cathader and I'm not sure what else they are doing for her. Yesterday, before my mother left work (she works in the hospital), she stopped by to see her, but turned around and left right away because my grandmother was asleep in her chair. Since she hadn't been sleeping a lot, my mother did not want to disturb her. Sleeping and resting is what my grandmother has been doing for the past few days. She's been eating a little bit of food each day, but is still very weak. Most of the time she just lays there because she is even too sick to watch tv or read which are both things she enjoyed doing before she went into the hospital.
Today, my grandmother moves into another part of the hospital. It is a section specifically for older people who can't get around anymore. A few years ago she was put into this wing, but was able to leave because she got better. I hate the fact that they are making her reside there for a bit because I know she is going to hate it. The hospital itself is worse enough, but this? The rent at her assisted living home still needs to be paid. Otherwise, they will make my family move her belongings out and chances are, she won't be able to go back even if she were physically able to because the facility has people on a waiting list. Only people who are able to physically take care of themselves, granted with a little help from the nurses, are allowed to live there. For now, the assisted living home says that she needs to stay in the hospital. It is pending as to how long she'll have to be there. It all depends on her health.
"You better go visit her. You don't know how long she has."
'She isn't that bad, is she?' I thought to myself. I asked my mother what exactly was wrong with my grandmother's health. "Well .....I dunno, my mother said with a worried expression on her face, She's old ......" That's it? That's what's wrong? She's in the hospital just because she is old? That's scary because when people get too old, sometimes their bodies just shut down and that's what I'm afraid is happening to her right now. I hate to say it because it makes me feel really guilty, but I cannot help but think about what would happen if she were to die. I'd miss her so much and everyone else would too. Everyone would just be so torn up inside about it. I hate seeing my family like that. It upsets me even more to see everyone else so sad. That has to be one of the worst parts about death. It can't be her time yet, can it? I am praying that it isn't and that she gets better. I'm so worried.