Monday, Nov. 29, 2004

Full of Hate

This morning I woke up to the sound of my alarm. I tried to ignore it, but there was no way I could ignore Adam tapping me on the shoulder and saying,"Baby, you gotta go to work."

Shiiiit!! I just went to sleep, right? It seems like I had. When I awoke, my throat hurt, I was still tired, and all I could think about were the weird series of dreams I had throughout the night.

I dreamt that I was in a huge building with tons of people. I distinctly remember a girl from my high school (Amy) being there with me. The most I can remember is sitting in these very, very tall seats...must have been about twelve feet tall. Amy and I were talking and all of a sudden, the whole place was underwater. Also, there were a few guys in my dream. They were supposed to be workers or something who were to clean up after the big 'floods'. It was just weird.

So, when I woke up in a sweat from the bad dreams with my throat hurting and me not feeling great, the logical explanation would be to just stay in bed. Days that start out like that are just nicer if all you can do is lounge around in your bed watching tv, movies, or reading. ANYTHING but work. But, I had to.

While getting dressed and trying to find socks, shoes, etc., I realized that our room was a mess. I wasn't bothered by this too much until I went into the bathroom. Do you know what set me off? It's pathetic, actually, and I know it. Yet, it still really irritates me to no end; even right now as I type this. So, the object in the bathroom that infuriated me was an empty tissue box that was sitting on the shelf where I have my Boyd's Bears. I made as much noise as possible throwing the empty box into the trashcan and came out of the bathroom muttering,"If a tissue box is empty, then why wouldn't you throw it away?" He is the one who used them, not me. I bought them and didn't use even one. How does he manage to use an entire box in less than a month when he doesn't have a cold and is not even home that much?

I got this weird idea that he uses them to 'clean up' with after masterbating or something. Maybe I just conjured up that idea because of the magazines that sit on the back of our toilet with naked/half naked women in them. And yes, this bothers me to no end but I've never said anything to him about it. I don't even read magazines because everyone in them is so beautiful and great looking, it just makes me feel like shit everytime I open one. I know, I have recently aquired self esteem issues. I used to be more confident.

Even though I had to leave soon for work, I decided to try to straighten up a bit. I put my shoes away (a task itself) and then started putting away DVD's. We hadn't even watched these DVD's and somehow they were out after I put them away the other night. While I was putting them away again, I started slamming the cases on my dresser as I put them down. Adam jumps out of bed, picks up two Wal Mart bags that have Christmas Presents for Megan and Madison in them and yells,"What the fuck is wrong with you!? Why do you act like this??!!", as he throws the bags across the room. I walked out and slammed the door behind me. It was time to go to work.

I left a voice mail on his phone on my way here that said,"I'm heading to work. Don't bother calling me today."
We'll see if he listens to it or not.

We said last night we weren't going to fight at all this week. Oh well. At least we had a nice weekend.

Friday night after work I actually went home and took a nap for a few hours. I was rested up and in a better mood when we went out to Danley's and the Eagle's. I was so glad that he didn't want to go to Staff's. I wasn't feeling up to being there. This little guy at the Eagle's cracked me up when he asked the bartender for a 'Bacardi and Silver'. I was glad to be home early though. Both of us were tired.

The pool match was at the Brass Key. Adam lost both of his matches, and the team as a whole lost as well. Not a good week, but hopefully better luck next time. After the match, Adam and I picked up Megan and Lindsey so they could go out to eat with us. We had planned to go to Metucci's, but there was a 2 and 1/2 hr. waiting list. Instead, we went to Ruby Tuesday. I asked for my steak medium rare, but it was fully cooked in the middle. That was the only complaint about my meal. Oh yeah, I asked for a water along with my strawberry daquiri but didn't get it.

It was so nice to finally hang out with Megan again. I can't wait until she comes home for Christmas break. She's off a whole month, but will most likely be working a lot.

Adam actually picked out good movies for us to watch. He picked them out while Megan, Lindsey and I waited in the car for Brennon to meet us so he could transport the beer I had bought them to Bloom where they were partying that night.

We could only watch one DVD that night because my DVD player apparently took a shit. We even bought a DVD cleaner disc, but it doesn't even read that when we put it in. I fell asleep watching a Saturday Night Live VHS of the Best of Mike Myers.

I bought Madison's Christmas gifts on Sunday afternoon while Adam was at the #1's. Wal Mart was insane. There was no place to walk, let alone push a cart around. I bought her a tattoo maker, Care Bears checker game, 3 spray paint cans (spray paint can be easily hosed off with water), and 3 Easy Bake Oven refills. I didn't spend nearly as much on her as I did Megan, but I don't think anyone will notice. Actually, it seems like I bought Madison more.

As I was browsing through the toy aisle, I found all these games that I wanted for myself. I wasn't going to indulge in buying for myself until after Christmas, but I couldn't help myself. I splurged and bought a Dominoes game, Rummikub, Jenga, and a new version of Sorry.

Adam and I played games for like, 4 hrs. last night. We played two rounds of Jenga and 3 rounds of Rumikub, which I won, by the way.

The rest of the night we watched tv. After Elf (cute movie), he put in a documentation of the mafia that I fell asleep through.

Why couldn't I have stayed asleep today instead of getting up. I would have been a lot happier and a lot less angry. That's my problem today, I am full of hate....

and I don't like it.....

but I can't help it.

missdahling at 1:41 p.m.