Apr. 06, 2004

Jim Beam Once Again

He drank bourbon again last night. First he said that he would be home at 2, then Nicole called and he said it would be no longer than an hour. When he got home I looked at the clock and it was 4:40 am. Fucker.

I spent the time from 4:40 - 7 am crying my eyes out. The bourbon. He said he wouldn't drink it again. What really pisses me off is the fact that I believed him. How naive am I? ok, don't answer that.

I've realized that he isn't mean to anyone else when he gets like that; and that hurts the worse. The sad thing is that he doesn't remember most things that happened or what he said.

I hate it when he makes me feel like shit.

Today I just feel a little tired and worn out. We drove in silence when I took him to work his morning. He called earlier this afternoon and asked if I just wanted to rent a movie tonight instead of going out. I basically gave one word answers to everything he said to me.

'I love you. I'm sorry.' That was the text message he sent to my phone. I sent one back that read,'We'll talk later.' A couple seconds later I sent him another text. This one read 'I love u 2.'

Again, he told me that he won't drink Jim Beam. I will believe it when I see it.

missdahling at 4:05 p.m.