Nov. 08, 2003

My Life is Hell

I took the day off work yesterday because I was really upset. There was no way that I could work like that. I spent the day with Liz and Heather. We went to Jay's Tiffany for lunch, then Heather and I came back to Liz's and I finally got to watch General Hospital for the first time in ages. We basically sat around and talked until around 6. That's when I met Ben at Vince's.

I pulled in Vince's parking lot and Vince, Hue, Joey K. and some other guy were already in a car. Vince yells to me,"Jenn! Turn your car lights off. Come get in. Your coming with us."

We had to wait for Ben to get there so that he could pick up his bag. When he left, we went on a burn run. It was fun going for a burn ride in someone else's car ! We went through Norry. I think we might have smoked two blunts.

Of course we smoked a lot more when we got back to Vince's. There was a lot of people there. Some of them I didn't even know. Everyone knew that Adam and I were fighting; which meant that I had to deal with guys hitting on me. Everyone thought that it was a stupid reason for Adam to be as upset as he was. This is what happened and why he was pissed....

Thursday night he went into Staff's for about 5 minutes while I stayed in the car. Some random drunk guy named Justin (who we saw at the Edison earlier) comes up to my window and was like,"Hey. I just wanted to tell you that you are very beautiful. What's your name?" I told him my name and he asked to shake my hand. I shake it, and then I'm like,"Hey, do you know where I can score some bud?" Well, I ask a simple questions and he just kind of opens my car door and gets in.

It just figures that Adam would walk out of Staff's just as this guy is sitting in my car. The guy gets out and Adam gets in. Oh God...'not another fight,' I thought.

The whole way to his house Adam was yelling at me. He said,"FUCK YOU, YA FUCKING SLUT!!! I don't need this! This isn't working out. " Ya know, the usual shit he says when he is pissed.

We didn't talk all day until 1:30am last night. After Vince's, I went to Liz's mom's house and watched movies with Liz, Heather and Justin. The movies were 'Identity' (which I alreay saw) and 'Trapped'. Both were very good.

When the second movie was over I got a phone call from Adam. He said that he was sorry about the night before. Apology accepted. I picked him up at Danley's. I pull up and jesus fucking christ, the same stranger who got in my car on Thurs. night was there last night too. I didn't know that it was him at first until I stepped out of my car to ask this girl Amanda for a lighter and he said something to me.

Amanda left and those guys started talking to me. Adam was pissed about that then! He got in the car without a word and drove off. He goes,"I'm just going to forget that the last ten minutes ever happened. I am never bringing you on this street again." Fine by me.

We went to his dad's house and smoked pot in the basement. We both apologized for what happened even though we didn't really talk about it. That kind of makes me feel like nothing was accomplished. Oh well.

We had sex on his dad's bed this morning. Make up sex is always good. I really missed him. One day without talking to him and I missed him. I just really wish he would trust me. I asked him to try and he really didn't respond. :-/ I can't take him not trusting me. He has no reason not to...he has my whole heart no matter what he thinks.

At 4 am we met Adam's dad and their friend Sam at the Eat-a-Bite for breakfast. It was fun. I got french toast and bacon. I had never been there before.

Sam had been in the bar on Thursday night and saw everything that happened with that strange guy getting in my car. Sam even told Adam that he just kind of got in and I didn't tell him to. Sam was like,"You were the one who left her in the car alone. She could have come in and sat with me, or she could have went in with you." Adam didn't really respond. He was just like,"well...yeeeaah..." He knew that Sam was right. I was not at fault here.

So, my life was hell since late Thursday night, all day yesterday, all evening until 1:30am. This shit has to stop. He needs to trust me.

I guess everything is okay between us. He is supposed to call me today.

missdahling at 12:38 p.m.