May. 03, 2003
Don't Think....Just Go w/ Things
I haven't really talked to Mark since Wed. night. On Thurs. night I had an away message up which said: "I am feeling a little off tonight. Would anyone like to turn me on? "
In repsonse to this, he said "whats the matter? Not wet enough (b/c at Theta I spilled beer on myself and we joked around that I was 'wet')? I'm sure someone could push your buttons."
I am having a hard time decifering what he wants from me. From some of what he says, it seems as though he wants a relationship. But contrary to this, it seems like he wants something purely sexual. Or maybe when he says things like that, he's just trying to be cute, funny, flirtacious, etc.
I can't sleep with him right away though. I absolutely refuse to get into the same situation that I'm already in with 'him', who by the way I haven't talked to since Easter. If I have sex w/ him from the start, I have a feeling it will be strictly sexual and nothing more.
I am trying to tell myself that I don't like him because I'm going to disappointed if things don't go as I'd like them to. I don't wanna get my hopes up.