January 11, 2003
Pass the Blunt
In all my life, I have neve been as fucking high as I was last night!
Let me start at the beginning. I hung out with him. I looked good too...i wore flare jeans w/ one of those peasant-type tops. It was a v-neck; extremely low cut. On my feet were a pair of brown boots that complimented the outfit nicely.
When I got there, everyone was already fucked up. Apparently, 'he' felt uncomfortable because Kevin was home. So we went to Applebee's, which was fine by me because I felt a little weird being there with both of them. Our outing to Applebee's could be considered a date. He paid for my food. I was so happy because we actually went somewhere.
We left Applebee's and smoked a blunt with one of 'his' friends. Jesus Christ! I was super fucked up. I have never been so high in my life! It got to the point that it wasnt even enjoyable.
I remember thinking about things that happened during the day, and I didnt think that my life was real. It was kinda creepy.
After we left his friend's house, we went back to 'his' house. This is where I spent my time in the bathroom throwing up. Yes, one of my most hated things to do. I was in there for such a long time. I felt really bad. I still feel really bad.
When I recovered from that, I decided that it was time to start making phone calls. Not only am I a drunken dialer, I am a high dialer too. I had funny conversations with Ana and Liz. I dont quite remember what I said, but they were laughing. I also talked to Dan and the only thing that I can remember saying to him was,"I will leave you with these words: I AM REALLY FUCKED UP!" hahaha....
I mus thave called A.R. and had my number show up on the caller id because he called me back and didnt recognize the number. I told him who I was and we talked for a few minutes until I told him that I was going to go pass out.
The sex last night was really good. I was having sooo much fun. I missed him so much.
Now I have to deal with the fact that he's going to stop talking to me....AGAIN. :-(