Friday, Jul. 07, 2006
A Sad Day to Remember
This morning was my grandmother's funeral. She wore her favorite pink suit which matched very well with the light pink casket my dad and his brothers picked out. The flowers in the church were all different shades of pink and looked beautiful.
My family and I sat in the first two rows of pews. Up close and personal...at first I couldn't even look at her because it made me too sad to think that she is no longer with us. I remember thinking,"There is her body, but she isn't hear anymore."
I think it is the strangest feeling when you are looking at a dead person and you suddenly remember things they said or did when they were once alive. It is also weird to think that all of those memories that were made throughout the years are all you have left of that person.
Before the funeral service started, I kept thinking about the time I spent with my grandmother. Towards the end, I didn't see very much of her. My memories all revolved around earlier times; times like when my family and I all used to go to her apartment for Christmas parties, or when my mother used to work on Saturdays and my grandma would watch Megan and I.
There was one particular memory I have of her and that is when she taught Megan and I how to play five card poker. I was no older than eight years old, which would make Megan only five. It was a Saturday morning and she was babysitting Megan and I. She sat in her chair while Megan and I crowded around her and held our cards on our hands, waiting anxiously for her to tell us what to do next. Before last year, that was the last time I had played cards of any kind and surprisingly, when I was taught how to play Texas Hold'em, I remembered what poker hands meant what because of that day with my grandmother.
I didn't start to 'really cry' until my dad got in front of the podium and gave a Eulogy. He talked about what a great person she was in general; about what a great mother she was, mother in law, and grandmother and what she meant to him. He reminisced about times when he and his brothers were younger and I could tell he was starting to get all choked up. I was proud of him though because he got himself together and didn't actually cry so that he was able to finish the euology. My dad is being so strong during this and I can't see how. I can't imagine how it must feel when your mom dies.
When my dad was finished speaking, the preacher read some passages from the Bible and spoke about my grandmother's accomplishments what she did throughout her eighty five years of living. All throughout the church you could hear people getting out tissues, sniffling and as I looked around, everyone was dabbing the tears out of their eyes.
There was a catered meal in the church basement afterwards and most people stayed for it, including my pop pop (my mother's dad) and Aunt from Philly. I realized that my pop pop is the only grandparent I have that is still alive and that makes me greatful to have him, but sad at the same time.
I am relieved that the funeral is over, but mostly now, I am just tired from the day I had. Right now, I feel like curling up in a ball and going to sleep for awhile to take my mind off of all this.