Nov. 26, 2003
Going Down Please
I had an appointment with my psychologist today. Things went well except that whenever I am there, I am dead tired. I always feel as though I am going to fall asleep. I need to stop coming home so late on those nights. I went to bed a little before 4 last night.
Adam won big on the punchboards. Lucky him...even though he has about $150.00 left out of $300.00. I'm not even sure what he spent it on. We were at the East Ends for awhile, then the Eagles, and then Danley's. I didn't drink at all last night. Just smoked.
Oh yeah, I filled out an application to become a member of the Eagles last night.
He finally got to go down on me last night. That was nice. He was like,"I haven't done that for awhile."
I'm not sure why, but I usually hurt after I have sex now. It didn't always used to be like that. It's like, I'm tighter now than I was before or something. When he enters me, I feel really tight. I try to relax....once he is in, it's usually alright, but still....Maybe I don't get as wet as I used to. I dunno. It's probably because of my birth control because I've heard of things like that happening to other people. I can't stop taking it of course, but I don't know what to do.
It sucks.
Last night Adam and I discussed what we were doing for Christmas. I told him that I could spend no more than $300.00. That means that I will most likely be getting him a playstation 2. It'll be cool because then I can play it too. I'll get him games and another controller as well. I'd still like to buy that guitar back. I could act like I was getting him the playstation, but then give him the guitar. What a cool surprise that would be. I'll have to see what I can manage.
I wonder what he will get me. This will be the first Christmas in about 5 years where I get a present from my boyfriend. Jason was the last real boyfirend I had before Adam and the last to get me a birthday present and Christmas present.
What I'd really like is an engagement ring. Honestly, I don't know if I'm ready for that, but if he proposed, god, I'd have to say yes! There is most likely a 1 in 1 million chance that he'll do that anyway so I guess I don't have to worry about what I'd say. Still, it's nice to think about.