Sept. 09, 2004

Better and Better

What a strange night I had last night.

Right after work I went to Liz's to pick up my carton of cigarettes that Justin brought back from Virginia. $25.00 ! What a deal...

Anyway, I picked up Adam's check like I always do on Wednesdays. It was still early; around 11 and I didn't feel like sitting at home doing nothing so I went to the bar.

I started drinking captain and pineapple. yummy.

I drank a few then went to Beaver's. While I was gone Adam had started drinking too. And I was having a lot of fun. Malone and Nicole were there (they're back together I guess), Cheryl, Shuey, and some others. Everyone was shooting the shit and having a nice night.

We stayed an hour past closing time which meant that we got out of there around 4:30 am. I was drunk, a little tired, but I did want to go home to smoke.

We took some people home who needed a ride, then went to Turkey Hill to buy drinks. This is when things started to turn shitty....

Adam was taking such a long time while I was in the car waiting. I yelled from the car to see if he was coming and he got really pissed because he was talking to a friend. He yelled at my basically the entire way home.

At home, he body slammed me on the bed. He does this sometimes; not to be mean or to hurt me or anything, but in good fun. Well, my head accidentally hit the wall and it hurt a little. I commented that it hurt and he became even more angry. Of course he yelled at me some more. I turned over on my side and just layed there and cried.

He got sick once (I was still crying in bed not looking at him) and went into the bathroom. Then he got sick again and at that point, I passed out. It was probably a good thing that I did too. The last thing I remember him saying was,"I just got sick and I'm gonna be sick again."

From reading my diary you know that he gets drunk and does this to me. I can't stand it. I voiced my opinion that I didn't appreciate it this morning when we woke up. I woke up with a queasy stomach by the way.

He has told me time and time again that he wasn't going to do this to me anymore. He just said that on Tuesday night actually. I asked him why he does it. I asked why he is only mean to me and not anyone else. I didn't get any real answers. It is becoming a real problem. I can now see how marriages fail because of alcohol. Not saying that I would break up with him, because I wouldn't. I know that I wouldn't. I love him too much.

I went to the Eagle's for my food. Inside the styrofoam container was a card. Inside, it read this:


I love you with all my heart. You are my best friend, my soul mate, and the love of my life. I have to apologize for getting out of line too often, you don't deserve that. I promise to be a better boyfriend to you. I love you always.


I feel the same way about him. He is my best friend. He is my soul mate and the love of my life. There is noone in this whole world that I would rather be with. Not anyone. Not now, not ever.

And that's why it hurts so much when we fight.

missdahling at 9:09 p.m.