Dec. 07, 2003

Crack Shack

I hate the fact that the weekend is almost over already. I jut got done sleeping. That's what I usually do on Sundays. It's such a boring day which is perfect for sleeping and winding down from Saturday and Sunday.

Friday night I actually did pick Adam up right after work anyway. I love getting my own way.

The weather was awful on Friday night. We got snow and it sucks. There was no way that I was driving home in those conditions so we went to a motel. Actually, this is more like a fucking crack shack. It is a room that we got for $45.00....for the entire week. We have it rented out until this coming Friday!!!

We smoked with Amber, someone who is friend's with Adam's dad. Since the room we got has a bar under it, we went to the bar and drank a couple beers. I got served.

The bar closed, but we were still wide awake. We had sex and smoked a bowl at the same time. It was pretty bad-ass. I was very loud that night too.

This is strange...we got into a conversation about Kevin. You know the deal. He hate the fact that we hooked up, etc. We also had a discussion about sex toys because I brought up the theme of my Christmas gifts from last year. It's true, I never used any with him. No big deal, but disturbing conversation none the less.

Slept till about 3 on Saturday afternoon. Then Adam had to go to work, so we each went home and got showered. I came back into town and took him to work.

While he was at work, Liz, Heather and I went to Williamsport. We ate at TGI Fridays. Good food. Our waiter was strange though. We stopped at Justin's. There were a couple people hanging out. I played one game of beer pong and had one can. I couldn't get too drunk because I had to drive home.

I got back into Sunbury and went to Adam's work. Hung out, talked to people, etc.

There was this guy there who was telling us about how when he was young, he shot a cat or something. Now he has this sickly cat who he and his wife are trying to nurse back to health. He said that he thinks it's a test from God to see if he can save this cat's life. Well, Adam must have thought that I was mocking him because he said that I laughed and made a joke out of it. That wasn't my intention at all.

Adam finished his shift and we went back to the crack shack. He starts talking about how it pissed him off about the whole thing with the cat and how I was acting. When he is upset, he brings up a lot of shit. We got into a conversation about Kevin, the sex toys, and trust. He still doesn't trust me. He was like"One of us needs to get serious about this relationship. I'm not playing games anymore." What the fuck? He even said that we should forget about buying each other Christmas gifts this year too. I started to cry and didn't even want to hit the bowl so I let him have an extra one.

He said it wasn't breaking up. I guess everything was okay between us then because after awhile we talked about other things. Then I gave him a back massage, then had sex.

I asked him if he was serious about not exchanging gifts. He asked if I wanted to, and I said that I would, but I just brought it up because he said that he didn't want to. He goes,"I said a lot of things. I like to hear myself talk."

It was already nine o'clock so we decided to go home to sleep. As he was getting out of the car, I go,"I hope you didn't mean all of those things you said to me. I really do take this relationship seriously."

He said that he didn't know why I didn't bring it up sooner and we'd talk about it tomorrow, but who knows if we will. It bothers me too much not to talk about it.

I want our relationship to go forward, not backwards. We need to leave this shit behind us and concentrate on the now. I love him and don't want to lose you.

missdahling at 3:43 p.m.